All posts tagged 'excuses'

Best excuses after being pulled over

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policeman

If you recall, when we first launched the blog we asked readers what they wanted to see in the blog, and I have since revisited several of those ideas. Today's entry in the series: crazy excuses given to cops to get out of a ticket. I combed the internet for some good ones.

  • Offense: speeding. "I just got my brakes repaired, and I didn't want to wear them down!"
  • Offense: speeding. “I was trying to impress my girlfriend.”
  • Offense: speeding. "I really have to go to the bathroom.”
  • Offense: parking illegally. “I couldn't help it; I was hypnotized to park illegally.”
  • Offense: not stopping for the police. "I didn't see you back there because I've had a LOT to drink.”
  • Offense: speeding. “There was a bee flying around my head, and I was trying to outrun it.”
  • Offense: speeding. "I was going to be late for traffic school." Fail.
  • Offense: making an illegal turn. "Well, why don't you ever pull my husband over? He makes that turn every time we come to this mall. What are you, a chauvinist or something?"
  • Offense: speeding. "I was just driving with the flow of traffic, but the group I was with before got boring so I was trying to catch up to the next one."
  • Offense: speeding. "I'm sorry, officer, but I was in a real hurry to get into Mexico after robbing that bank."
  • Offense: speeding. "I'm an idiot."

What’s the best excuse you’ve ever used or heard someone else use to get out of a ticket? Did it work?

 

Most ridiculous sick day excuses

fake sick

As the weather gets nicer and everyone is itching to get outside, it’s only natural that you may want to use some of the days you’re supposed to be working to get some sun. But how do you get out of work when you’re not actually sick? Or, even better, what should you avoid doing? I asked around the office and searched online to find some of the most ridiculous excuses ever used to get out of work.

  • “Someone put LSD in my salad.”
  • “My neighbor’s cat died and I’m extremely upset.”
  • “I’m dead.”
  • “My car is in the garage, but my garage door won’t open.”
  • “I’m locked inside my house.”
  • “My pet rock died.”
  • “My hair transplant didn’t go as planned.”
  • “I fell asleep at my desk and got a neck sprain.”
  • “A crazy squirrel stole my keys and wouldn’t give them back until I explained how important work was to me.”
  • “I’m going to be sick tomorrow” (calling from a bar the night before).
  • “I have to mow my lawn.”

For those who are actually serious about playing hookie there is BestSickExcuses.com, where for only $14 you can get your very own best sick excuses kit (I do not recommend this).

What’s the best excuse you’ve ever used or heard someone else use to get out of work/school?

 

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