The following is a guest article by Jason Kane.
2013 is coming to a close, which makes many look back on what an astounding year it has been. Great Britain welcomed a new prince, the Catholic Church welcomed a new Pope, and the world said goodbye to Nelson Mandela and Margaret Thatcher.
Pop culture had its share of highs and lows as well. From Miley Cyrus twerking on stage to the sad loss of Cory Monteith, it was a year we will never forget. Likewise, the year introduced song lyrics that will haunt us forever.
Worst Pop Lyrics
It's My Party - Jessie J
"Don't you get tired of being rude. / Aw, come on and give me a hug, dude."
The catchy pop song, "It's My Party," features a number of cringe-worthy lyrics, with the most egregious example appearing in the first verse. It's no "Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes after," but it is close.
Worst Country Lyrics
Beer With Jesus - Thomas Rhett
"He can probably only stay, for just a couple rounds, but I hope and pray he’s stayin’ till we shut the whole place down."
Thomas Rhett wants to spend his entire paycheck in the jukebox while chugging beer with his savior. Most people would agree that Jesus prefers wine.
Worst Lyrics That Were Supposed to Be Deep, but Failed
Accidental Racist - Brad Paisley and LL Cool J
"To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand when I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I’m a Skynyrd fan."
There is very little that can be said about this song that hasn't already been stated often and loudly. The entire runs the gamut from offensive to just plain stupid.
Worst Romantic Lyrics
Body Party - Ciara
"Baby put your phone down, you should turn it off cause tonight it's going down, tell your boys it's going down."
Class, sophistication, and reserved virtue this song is not. Ciara's clear voice tells her love exactly what she plans to do, but that he should text his friends about it first.
Worst Lyrics That Nobody Understands
We Can't Stop - Miley Cyrus
"Dancing with molly."
Every tween girl knows that the lyrics are "dancing with molly" and not "dancing with Miley," as was widely reported. The question is, do those tween girls' parents know? And do they know why dancing with molly is not a great idea?
Worst Rap Lyrics
Bound 2 (explicit) - Kanye West
"I wanna **** you hard on the sink. / After that, give you something to drink. / Step back, can't get ***** on the mink."
With lyrics like these, it's not hard to see what Kim sees in her man.
Worst Lyrics in an Otherwise Great Song
Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
"I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus. / This is it, the apocalypse."
The Grammy nominated "Radioactive" is a powerful, passionate plea about a post-apocalyptic future. It also doesn't make much sense. Somehow, the nonsensical lyrics add to the mystery of this vision of the future. That is, if you don't listen too closely.
Worst Lyics in an Overplayed Song
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
"What rhymes with hug me?"
The answer is "slug me," as in, "If I make you listen to this song one more time, you are going to slug me." Honorable mentions: bug me, mug me, and drug me.
Worst Lyrics That Don't Mean What You Think They Mean
Comeback Story - Kings of Leon
"I walk a mile in your shoes. / And now I'm a mile away and I've got your shoes."
The soulful melodic tune, paired with the strange lyrics, is often misconstrued as an attempt to be insightful and dramatic. Unfortunately, because of the pairing, the sarcastic nature of the song is lost on most listeners.
Worst Lyrics Overall
TKO - Justin Timberlake
"She kill me with that coo, coochie-coochie-coo."
No one can deny that Justin Timberlake is a force to be reckoned with. He can sing, he can dance, he can act, but maybe he should step aside from writing lyrics, especially when they refer to a female's privates as a "coochie-coochie-coo."
Jason Kane is an amateur musician and a professional blogger. He recommends SoundStage Direct for all vinyl records, record players, and record player accessories.